~Hope~

Hope, what is hope? is it a good thing to hope or not???

hope can be something good. that is if only when you hope for something or someone, and it happens than it is a good thing. but when you hope for something or someone, it turns out not like what you hope for, it hurts you so so much till you can't bare the pain. one thing i learn, never ever put too much hope in anything you wish for, because it will only hurt yourself deeply.

once i used to hope for a lot of thing, but in the end getting let down. worse of all, don't even know what actually happen when everything starts changing. sometimes i do wonder why did things have to turn out this way? this wasn't the outcome that i have hope for. the more i hope for things to turn out better and good, the more worse it will gets...hahahah...why? one or two times i believe it's a coincident, but it keeps going on and on, i believe it's not any coincident. because of HOPE, it let's me down. because once i was hoping something from you, it disappointed me. because of putting too much hope, in the end it just hurts myself.

how much did i understand about you? i really don't know anymore. the feeling is getting further and further and i can't do anything to pull thing back into like last time, because i know that it will only annoyed you. and because of this i don't put hope and hope that things will turn out to be better between us. i'm scare, i'm scare of getting hurt once again, because i really can't afford to fall now. this is not the time that i can manage to fall. no matter what, i have to stand strong, i need to keep walking, because i know that if i fall, if i cry out now, i won't be able to pull myself up and keep walking. so the only thing and way that i have is to keep on walking, keep pushing myself till one day i really fall. i can't guess your thinking anymore, i don't know what games are you trying to play, all i know is that i can't afford to play it anymore, because i know that one day i will fall back in love with you again.

if you ask me to read your mind and understand about you once again, all i can only say is i'm sorry.... because i gave up hope...sorry