~down~

been down for the past few days...don't even know why...but, looks like it's really time to take my chloe's jie advice and let everything go....maybe what she say is true, can't hold on tight...got to learn to let go....but could i just let it go just like that? i really don't know...

all i know now is that being in this kind of situation is not a fun thing to do or be in...but one thing i really appreciate and feel happy is that whenever i need somebody beside me, jie will be the one there for me all the time...here i really want to thanks ah jie for being there for me and giving me advice when i am feeling down the most and upset.... but i also want to say sorry jie, whatever you want me to do and promise, for now i really can't, but all i can say is that i will try, i will try hard to do it jie...sorry....

it's really been a long time since i last chat with ah jie, it's been a long long time since i last have that kind of feeling. i really miss those time where i really can chat and see ah jie everyday. i really miss my past life where it's just simple, work, bath, eat, sleep than work, bath, eat, sleep...it's just so simple that i really don't have to bother much about anything with no worries and upset. through out this whole week, i have been confuse all the time, confuse of don't know what am i suppose to do next or what am i suppose to think. but ever since chatting with ah jie on thursday night, i really feel much better. even what ah jie suggest to me on what to do next is not what i want and think of, but i might listen to her. because i know, what she say is the truth, it have been a truth that people have been telling me since long time back. but wether is d present girl or even long time back past girl, as what ah jie say, it's time for me to let go.

jie wish that i could be happy back like last time, with no worries and problems in my mind. but could i do it? i don't think so. i really scared once again i will let ah jie disappointed. i really don't know what to do and think. maybe i should just let everything go in my life, get out of here and start all over again where nobody knows me. i should let go my present and past or basically should said, everything in my life. get away from here, go far away and start all over again.

october will be going over to australia, shall try to suit myself there and see if there is suit me or not. really hope could settle down there and start everything again. should really sit down and seriously think things over. should i let go and just hold or tight.