~confuse for no reason~

Monday was really a surprising day for this week. out of no where, getting a news that could never expected to hear of. was just wondering why did it happen so sudden. what exactly did happen between that one whole week.

worst of all, i don't really know what am i thinking now. all i know is that i can't bare to see you carry on like this. i really feel sad and pain when i see you like this. i really wish to be by your side to care and console you, but i know it's impossible. all i can do is just seeing you suffering everyday and not doing anything to help you to feel better or to ease you pain. i really hope that all this never happen to you, i rather all this didn't happen at now at this moment.

i don't know what the hell am i confuse for. why is it happening to me now? why the hell should i be confuse, or even care or bother so much. is it that i really like you? is it that since long time back i like you but i keep lying to myself saying that i don't like you anymore? i really don't know. all i know is that my heart hurts every time i see you like this. but why, why should i feel hurt when it's not even my problem to bother. why do i care so much? i am not suppose to like you, this is one thing for sure that i know. I CAN'T LIKE you.

for now i really don't want to think so much. all i want and hope is that you recover as soon as possible. i really can't bare to see and knowing about you carrying on like this anymore. i just want you to be happy again.

Please, please God, spare her the pain and let her be happy once again. put the pain on me if it have to be. as long is she is happy once again....please....