time flies and a lot of things have been happening in my life....but the most major thing is, i will be having my final exam in one week time....WTF...i'm not even ready for it....damn....ar....
seriously speaking, i never thought that a close friend who we called each other 'brothers' will ever betrayed or back stab you and when they comes to face you they could treat as if nothing happen...hahahaha, such a good friend to be with right....damn right they are...and it's so fake...well, rumors have been spreading around in campus about me, people have been bitching about me, and the worse is i involved her into my problem. it all started with a April Fool prank and of TRUSTING someone who I'm not suppose to trust, which result into what i am today, who i have involved in. me and this girl called J played a prank on another friend saying that we are couple, things went on fine even after our friend know that it was an April Fool joke. but some how that friend of ours say that we are a matching couple and wants us to try being together. so somehow we work things our between us.
it all went on fine for a week till than only i realize, i can't continue this relationship because i know i don't love J but i love someone else. so i choose to end things between us. than, here is where all it starts, rumors about me, about her is all starting to comes out...from there only i know that whatever i did few months back, of telling my friend of we so called 'Brothers' about things happen to me, is a wrong move to make. i never thought that by using my sincere heart to speak out my problem to them and because of treating them as a close friend will end up they back stabbing behind my back....hells knows how long they have been back stabbing me. never thought that by telling my problem to they will results into them thinking i'm trying to show off this and that...HAHAHAHA...how silly i am right...treating you all as a friend, being honest, and this is how you all sees me as, just a fucking bastard who is trying to show off....
you know what, i'm not angry because there is rumors about me, i really just can't take it where those people can say and do all this behind your back, and when they are in front of you, they can treat as if they did nothing, as if nothing happen and still call you as a 'brother'. WTF man, what are you all trying to do? what are you all trying to prove? you know what, if you all don't like me, you all can just let me know and i will back off and leave our so called GROUP...i don't mind being alone...seriously i don't mind...maybe before this i still treasure our friendship, (which i think only i do consider it as) but now, i don't give a fuck...i don't give a damn...if you guys want to think that i am showing off of whatever i did for her this and that, than go ahead, but please, leave her out of it.
for now, i really don't know what am i suppose to do now, as what i noe, my image is already screwed in peoples mind, frankly speaking, i don't mind, but all i mind and care is how people sees, think and talk about you, EC. i don't want because of my problem which will affect you life and ruin your reputation in peoples eyes. but now all i can only do is say i'm sorry EC...i'm really sorry, sorry for pulling you into my life and problems, i'm deeply sorry...please forgive me for everything...
i'm really confuse and lost now, plus my finals is coming...i really don't know what to do...please, please, can anyone teach me what to do...
Sunday, April 13, 2008
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31 comments people have to say about me:
hey friend,from wat u had written,i can understand ur feeling now!!maybe sometimes u should understand n ask urself why they will back stab or betrayed u...maybe there's still some hidden story inside which u can't see it..so,dun ever judge a person by it's cover before u know the truth!!!try to talk to ur friend nicely n dun get pissed easily...try to control ur feeling k...
lastly,final is around the corner...do start ur revision n now just put away those things fist...i believe there's still many ppl who care n support u...dun give up easily!!!=)
take care n all the best!!
-juZmE-
agree agree agree to wat "juZmE" said...
btw, do u tink u nvr ever betray ppl b4?
do u ever hidden thg to ur closer one once too?
tink it deep in heart b4 u answer it to urself!!
as i noe, u hav b4...
u r jz experience how u treat other last time..
man, u deserve it...
chnage ur attitude, or else u will not in ANY group...
be alone might be not bad, but u r not the one who suitable to be..
_juZmE's supporter_
hrmm...yaya....u really should change ur attitude u know!!
dun always think that u are right and pls take some time to listen to other ppl's advice and try to accept ppl's view!!!=)
dun always take things as ur problem too because u r not GOD n u cannot help to settle every problems!!
HEY....is time to change urself u know!!do u really want to be a emo kid for the rest of ur life???????PLS WAKE UP!!!!
pls:i'm sorry to say that...but because u r my friend so i need to voice up here!!!try to accept and listen to other ppl's view before u make a decision...ok??
thanks 4 d comment...but can pls leave ur name
I see lots of interesting comment over here. Anyway here are my comment. Sorry if it's a long wan. Yo Brian, I guess I've known you long enough like 7-8 years ? Anyway I'm glad you blog about it. we'll talk bout it when you online k , or else my comment will be super long. Just try to put this shit away and concentrate on your studies. All the best to you my friend.
Dear Juzme's support, I've something for you.
First of all, nobody borns perfect in this world. That's why we human did mistakes and try to fix it.
Second of all, there's no problem of describing a person's feeling in his/her blog right ? cos it's their blog.
Third, you ( Juzme's supporter ) said that
"man, u DESERVE IT...
chnage ur attitude, or else u will not in ANY group..."
yo dude, we humans did alot of mistakes in our daily life. Some mistakes are not done on purpose. You can't said "man, you deserve it" dude, who do you think you are to judge a person ? oh and you also said
"be alone MIGHT BE NOT BAD, but u r NOT THE ONE WHO SUITABLE TO BE.." again who do you think you are to judge people ? are you saying that YOU ( Juzme's supporter ) clean ? as in free from trouble ? Whoa ~ analyze yourself before judging others dude. Worst of all, don't you have the guts to put your name on instead of Juzme's supporter ? pity.
Well that's all from my comment.
-James Wong-
Dear James Wong,
You have known Brian for 7-8 years. That alone is reason enough for you to be honest with him. We are not judging him but are giving him our honest opinions. As a long time friend, you should be honest with him as well. It is about time. There is no use in protecting him.
Dear Brian,
I am in full support of juZmE and juZmE's supporter. Its high time you changed your own attitude. I have been in your position before, thinking everyone around me is backstabbing me. Only later did I realize that I was a fucker(sorry for the harsh language, but it is necessary to express myself).
Dont jump to conclusions and call people backstabbers. Learn to differentiate "rumors" from "backstabbing". Most people are not backstabbing you, they are talking about you.
And how can you call people your brothers after knowing them for such a short time??
Remember that you are a university student, and over here, rumors spread like wildfire. Not so different from secondary school(though it should be).
Anywayzzz, good luck in your upcoming exams and your future endeavours.
-The Spartan Absolut Monster-
Dear "The Spartans Absolut Master". Another anonymous that afraid to identify him/her self ? Dude, you're trying to said that I'm protecting him, so let me make this clear, it's not a matter of protecting Brian or something. It is what I read in the previous comments. Anyway can you please LOOK and READ properly of the comment that juzme's supporter wrote ? if you can't let me highlight it for you with capital letters.
"u r jz experience how u treat other last time..
man, u DESERVE it..."
"chnage ur attitude, or else u will not in ANY group...
BE ALONE MIGHT NOT BE BAD, BUT U R NOT THE ONE WHO SUITABLE TO BE.."
can you see it ? maybe juzme's supporter trying to help him BUT in a very WRONG way. This is more to discourage a person than to help him out. It's like putting more fire than to extinguish it. If juzme's supporter trying to help him out. Please think twice or more before typing out the comment.
wauhh ... Mr.James i really support u.
first- to dear "_juzme's supporter_" u hav no rite to judge other people and u hav no rite to said that
" u r jz experience how u treat other last time..man, u deserve it"
each of us sure got make mistake and dun ever said tat you are perfect. please dun wrote like tat if u dun like that person. your words is really poison.tq _juzme's supporter_.
second - to dear "-The Spartan Absolut Monster-"
u have no rite to ask him to change his attitude & character cause u not his relative or friend tat can understand him. and again highlight this "u hav no rite to ask him to change his attitud or character". i think u and juzme's supporter have to change character & attitudes first. hey dude, brian used to called me as bro ... but we became bro in short-time and i can understand him well and i dun know y u guys cant understand him...??
i have advice for "-The Spartan Absolut Monster-" and "_juZmE's supporter_" i think better u guys think back what u guys did is correct or not??? tat all for u guys.
third - dear mr.brian aka bro.
just forget what people said and i wan u focus on your studies, and remember that we here as your friend and we understand about u. so dun worry so much about what happened. study hard & do well on finals.
-Gambateh for finals.-
* mr. no name *
Wow....Firstly, Brian should know who I am based on my nickname and that is most important. I only want HIM to know who I am.
Secondly, we have known him for a very short time, this fact remains true. However, what juZmE said may sound unfair to you but think about it, KARMA. What goes around comes around.
Some of us are with Brian everyday, and the impression that he has left cant be called good! We are not passing judgement, we are simply speaking based on what we have seen.
What "WE" are doing may not seem correct to you, but we are simply telling him how we feel. Maybe juZmE and his/her supporter is speaking based on real life experiences with Brian. Please consider this before asking us to change our attitudes.
And by the way, its "The Spartan Absolut Monster", not "The Spartans Absolut Master".
-The Spartan Absolut Monster-
wow.i guess i noe something but not everything happened to brian after i read his blog.ok for mr james and no name.do u noe wat happened in the 1st place before u state ur point??btw brian if u are reading this.1st of all,i never heard about any rumours about u and J or EC.but im not blind to see some1 crying in the canteen.is quite obvious something happened right?
my advice to brian :
1.study for ur finals.
2.don simply trust any1(don expect every1 is the same like mr no name i mean be a bro in such a short time.maybe he and u are really alike so much in personality)
3.don just simply follow ppl advice.u r old enough to determine what good and what aint.(e.g go for a girl while u are loving another)
4.lastly,if 1 ppl talk bad bout u.u can ignore it,if 2 u might stil can forget it.but if 3 is starting to talk bad bout u the same thing.isnt it the time to think bout it?think my friend.
Oh yeah.before anyone say im anonymous,im Sam.Liew Ban Sam is my full name.aka Spartan Funky.oh yeah.im not supporting any1 here.just in a neutral position like some1 being friend for 7-8 years and a bro and supporting him w/o knowing anything happen.
p.s : sorry if it is hard to understand wat im trying to say,i did not organize wat i wanted to say properly.i just typing out whatever in my mind thank you.
To juzMe: I support you because I agree that Brian should not be prejudge what is happening around. I mean it Brian, you and I have spend a year together and in fact, we slept in the same room now.
To: the absolute SPARTAN!!
I agree with you though Mr. James do make sense. But I'm one of the witness around the scene, so I too share the same feeling that we should start stand up and grow up. I'm learning too. You should too Brian.
To: Brian
We have conflicts before and things will not change the past. I really hope you can stand out from the chain you "think" you are in right now. My opinion, you are not chained but someone else. You just can't let go. The problem is you don't want to let go. I really hope you can have a casual talk with friends around you. They are the ones who ones told, consult, and warn you not to repeat certain things. But I know, both us, me and you are stubborn headed and always think we are right. Is very hard to accept others opinion, I try to understand people around me now. You should too.
ps. I know I have no rights to judge you, Brian. Because I too have my problem. But this is how things work for me. I will learn after certain conflicts and problems.
-your roommate-
spartan jerms369
Jeremy Y.W.F
As far as I know, there aren't any rumors. Please define backstabbing, I admit I talked about what happened, that's all. Everyone has their opinions of what happened. You think it is reasonably to go with J and end it because you realized like someone else. It's ok, some people think it's right some people think it's wrong. Some people like me think that J should feel bad not you. Stop thinking that the world's against you. In the end, you end up ****ing everyone like in your blog. If you still think anyone's B*tching then talk to him\her face to face.
About the "MAN you deserve it" line. What does Brian deserve? To get angry over something he shouldn't be? I'll tell you what Brian deserves. James said that people make mistakes blah blah, but what if that person makes the same effing mistakes all the time.
You know you still like someone. Act like it. The only thing you deserve is shame for making the same mistakes.
I wish you all the best. You are still my friend I hope.
-MAX NG MIN XI. Journalism Student Year One Semester One.
nvr tot of there is such a long discussion over this page...
m i too late to join in?
haha..
btw, i m the 'juZmE's supporter'..
well..
i nvr tink i m wrong in judging him..
i shouldn say i noe him well..
is jz..
been hurt quite hard by dis fellow, Brian Choke Kar Hoe...
mayb, u dun ever bother..
as, u always dun mind how ppl tink..
always said the ppl surrounding u hav change n etc..
how about u?
psychology?
tat is wat u study for currently?
its so so ironic n funny..
wat i mean by mr.brian "deserve" tat event bcz every each thg happen for a cause..
Brian choke, how far u take it serious for wat u said?
big liar...
Mr. James Wong, u will nvr understand bcz u r not Brian Choke, u duno wat he did b4, n even now..
i agree evryone did mistake, but, he jz will nvr ever admit he is wrong, he is always correct to himself..
he is so so emo tat he jz follow wat his emotion do..
even he noes tat he is wrong, he won admit n correct from it or even say sorry..
take an example, smoking...
mr. Brian choke, u noe wat, u r reli so disappointed...
_juZmE's supporter_
betray..
its jz how the way u treat other..
how u expect u not been backstab when u too do the same thg to ppl?
ironic..
_juZmE's supporter_
dear mr.James Wong,
"humans did alot of mistakes in our daily life"- kinda agree wit tat..
if ppl not don it by purpose, shud they sincerely apologize?
btw, ur brother, mr. Brian Choke, seem never ever show his sorry to the regarding person..
u noe wat, u seem like not too understand ur brother wo?
haha~
funny n ironic...
_juZmE's supporter_
to mr.James Wong,
"who do you think you are to judge a person ?"
i would like to send back this sentence to mr.Brian Choke, hey man,who u tink u r to judge a person..
tat iznit wat u do ALWAYS?
always tink ppl frm only ur side, i m jz learn thg frm u~
Mr.James Wong, u shud xplain ur tat sentence to ur buddy..
haha..
he duno tat at all..
psychology?
ya ya..
he is reli suitable for tat..
_juZmE's supporter_
to mr.James Wong,
"who do you think you are to judge a person ?"
i would like to send back this sentence to mr.Brian Choke, hey man,who u tink u r to judge a person..
tat iznit wat u do ALWAYS?
always tink ppl frm only ur side, i m jz learn thg frm u~
Mr.James Wong, u shud xplain ur tat sentence to ur buddy..
haha..
he duno tat at all..
psychology?
ya ya..
he is reli suitable for tat..
_juZmE's supporter_
haha.. someone curious to noe who i m...
"_juZmE's supporter_" jz kinda nick..
my name?
Brian Choke will noe tat..
since i mention tat so clear..
jz to let him noe, no matter how, i m stil care bou him, n hope he is fine..
_juZmE's supporter_
Mr. James Wong,
help him?
u noe wat..
no one can helo him besides than himself..
u noe him so well..
u shud noe tat..
he is stubborn enough...
_juZmE's supporter_
to dear Mr. MAX NG MIN XI,
wat i mean by deserve is he felt being betray or backstabbing..
"betray" anot is merely how mr.Brian Choke feel..
dun u agree?
too, correct anot, is depend on how u stand on the overview..
Mr. Choke, u shud glad tat so many ppl r caring abou u?
y dun u b more positive minded, guy?
u hav ur jie, ur dad n mum, even ur ye ye..
n all other cousins n uncles..
besides, u hav ur mr.james to help u always, like in this page..
u shud appreciate ur life n not tink about accident like recently..
April will go soon n May will come..
Life stil hav to go on as it come..
Life is never easy..
u said tat b4...
finally, jz wish u all de best,
n..
i tink i hav no point to hide who i m..
i m wanjun...
the _juZmE's supporter_...
u can block me frm viewing ur page or any..
tat id wat i at 1st worry..
but now, seem like no longer my worries..
take k..
n..
wat u do with Ms. Celest does reli hurt me till now...
ur promise will nrv ever a promise..
ur love is never ever a forever..
u r jz too disappointed me..
nvm..
u dun bother..
rmb dis?
"anythg"?
the word u like to use the most when u unhappy..
James, now u understand abit?
btw, i too miss happy moment spend together, at least, it did reli happen...
_juZmE's supporter_/ wanjun
1st of all...i m ms.J...From what i hv read in ur blog...I gt sumthing to tell here..1st..is abt what v hv talk abt that day(u know it)...frm what i hear frm her... I feel like she is so irresponsible person...she cant tell lk "i ad tell him that in btween us there is ntg...but if he continue to chase after me and treat me gud or what and its none of my business"...it is such a irresponsible statement that she made...i understd hw much u love her but all i wana say is that she jz wan u to care abt her and treat her as a very special person...sumthing lk cheating...i saying all these not bcz of i love u but to tell u what she tell me that day...the conversation that u din heard...ya...i admit that...i love u...that time u ask me to tell i cant cz i m nt confirm of myself but nw i m clear of it...u know what...i wana tell u that u r so stupid...u ad know that the gal is not loving u...she jz lk u only...jz in fren term but u still wana do lk this...all i wana say is that dun thik that u r god or magician or what...u r no one but a normal human being...u cant settle everything...unless u wan to create or get urself to involve in a problem that is not ur problem at all...do face the problem but not hide the problem...do solve problem not keep the problem to urself...i reli hope the best for u...act u n i is jz the same kinda ppl...stupid in loving a person without any commitment frm that person...not to taking a feedback frm that person...i m not hping that u wud cum bc to me o what..i m clear that things wont go back but i reli wan u to stay close fren to me...i dun wana lose u as a fren although there is still hope i create for myself...haha...stupid rite...i reli wana be close to u...if u gt problem u can find me...not that i wana say sumthing proud abt myself...but i can say that...i m a person anyone can rely on...i might cant help u to solve ur problems...but i can lend u a pairs of my ear jz to listen to ur problem...i wana tell u that...i love u...i might fall in another person one day and be with him...but atm i m feeling so...i do not know y that i cant tell u that time but i reli feel so nw...try to think of a better thing...u will feel better...act i still gt sumthing here is that not that u cant let her go...its that u dun wan to let it go...i duno whether u r loving her o u sympathy on her...i feel that u ad not love her but sympathy on her....perhaps that i m wrong...but plz plz and plz dun blame urself for ntg...u hv ntg to be blame with...and the fact that i search ad...there is no rumours abt us...n not even abt u too...dun think too much...sumtimes things can be simple...i love u...there is ntg i can do for u but o care abt u...u cant stop a person to care abt u rite...vr jz stupid ppl in love chain...try the best to struggle to be out of the chain...i m struggling too...i hope its the same to u...i hope u can be a better person in experience of ur past and not to stay in the past...i believe that there is still miracles in life...perhaps once in the lifetime...at least b4 u die...this is what i think of...take the experience as a memory of ur undertaking in the future...
-lost of love@lost of soul-
The amount of "I Love You's" in the previous post from Ms. J, whoever she is, is amazing.
I have the greatest amount of respect for Ms. J for being able to love someone who loves another who cares not about him. (GEDDIT)....
-Anonymous 4 Lyfe-
Can i know who are u??....i appreciate for what u comment abt me....if u dun mind i wud lk to make fren with u here....
-lost of love @ lost of soul-
well.. Ms E here ..
Hi, ms j . Thanks for ur comment towards me .
1st of all, I m glad knowing that u r feeling better now ..
Seems like chating with u and brian tat day to make u feel better and makes thing clear is a great decision for me ..
and..
thanks for judge me as an irresponsible gal..
haha !!
well , i will think deeply about this issue and become a responsible gal .wakakaka~
about love ,
i oso need to learn from u ..
how to love a person without hoping any return..
No need to pay fees rite? hehe ^_^
and u willing to teach me?
about the caring part,
erm..in my life really less ppl understand and care me
well,i'm glad that brian care me so much ..
and i appreciated it..
but if so ,been misunderstand that i utilized him..
then so so sorry
haha !! i will learn more independent next time~ Sorry oo!
Wow...ms.E...it is a speed that u let me know ur answer....haha...plz add me in ur msn-josl_87@hotmail.com and visit my blogspot at judyosl.blogspot.com....i really hope that u wont angry me...hope that v can be fren
and anyone that know me ad
plz add me laa
and also visit my blog laa
i m new here....thankzzz ya
Gud luck in final.....Gambatei....
-lost of love@lost of soul-
alright, 1st of all let me make things straight here, ms E, whether you like it or not i will be saying it here...to all, ms E never use me for anything, or in anyway, whatever you guys or girls know is i'm doing it willingly...is because of love...whether she likes me or not it doesnt matter to me now because i'm willing to help without asking anything in return from ms E...i'm doing it because i love her from the heart and never even expect anything from her...and ms J...about the sympathy part,...i can say your super very wrong, i never feel sorry for her life style or sympathy on her...and i am very clear of it that it's not because of sympathy but it's because of the feel of love towards her...yes, she might not like me...but it's i like her...that's all matter the most to me...so if there is anything please come straight to me...i highlight what i say earlier, she never request me to do anything or ask anything from me from the 1st day we have know each other, whatever is i myself doing it willingly...no matter what people say, it wont change my principle, maybe it might change her mind but it will never ever change mind...that's all i got to say...
Thank u mr.B...Thank u for everything...Thank u for the post too...Thank u so much....
-lost of love@lost of soul-
Dear,
-lost of love @ lost of soul-
You wanna make friends with me here? :0 Wow..The comment was simply my honest opinion! Good! Lets be friends! I can be a good friend! LOL! And I'm so full of myself, sometimes I feel like only my opinion matters... : (
(Ignore the last sentence, its just me pouring my heart out online)
-Anonymous 4 Lyfe-
Can i know who are you...If dun mind leave ur name plz...
Thankz....
You have to ask yourself this one simple question. Why should I ask someone who calls him/herself -Anonymous 4 Lyfe-, what their name is when it is evident that they intend to be "anonymous for life"..
Truly interesting.
I look forward to your reply.
-Anonymous 4 Lyfe-
Well... I will not ask who are then... But I will appreciate much more if you tell me who are you...
Well eventhough you say you are anonymous 4 life... But i do really interested in knowing who are you actually...
Hope to hear your reply soon....
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